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Why Your Child Isn’t Getting Recruited and What to Do

My Child Isn’t Getting Recruited: What Are We Doing Wrong?

A Common Question, A Shared Experience

If you’re a parent of a student-athlete and your phone isn’t ringing with college coach calls, you’re not alone. One of the most common questions we hear is, “What are we doing wrong?” The truth is, you may not be doing anything wrong at all. Recruiting is a process, not a single moment, and timelines look different for every athlete.

Dates like September 1st for lacrosse or June 15th for soccer mark the official start of recruiting contact windows. But here’s the secret: those dates are not finish lines. They are starting points. If your child didn’t hear from coaches on those days, that does not mean the dream is over.

Why It Feels Hard

It’s natural to feel discouraged when teammates post commitment announcements or when you scroll past highlight videos online. But remember: every athlete’s journey is unique. Comparing your child’s path to others only steals energy from the real work that needs to be done.

The recruiting process is like a marathon. Some athletes commit early, but many more find their homes later in the journey. The key is persistence, preparation, and staying true to your strategy.

Common Roadblocks Parents Face

Here are a few reasons why recruiting might feel stuck:

  • No clear strategy: Relying only on showcases or club exposure isn’t enough. Families need a roadmap that includes outreach, highlight reels, and academic preparation.

  • Too much comparison: Looking sideways at peers distracts from focusing on your athlete’s unique strengths.

  • Academic blind spots: Grades and transcripts matter. Coaches need to know your athlete will thrive both on the field and in the classroom.

  • Inconsistent communication: Sending one email to a dream school won’t cut it. Staying on a coach’s radar requires consistent, respectful updates.

  • Narrow focus: Limiting options to just a handful of programs can close doors before they’re even open.

The good news? Every one of these challenges can be overcome with the right plan.

Hope and Action

Every recruiting story unfolds on its own timeline. Here is what we want every family to remember:

  • Stay steady. Recruiting is rarely a straight line, and progress often comes when you least expect it. Consistency in training, academics, and outreach will always pay off.

  • Lift others up. When teammates find their fit, let it motivate you. Positive energy builds strong networks that coaches notice.

  • Focus forward. Instead of worrying about where others are committing, put your energy into sharpening your own skills, grades, and communication with coaches.

  • Stay flexible. The right school might look different than what you pictured at first. Keep your options open and recognize opportunities for growth.

  • Have faith in the work. Every rep, every email, every highlight clip is a brick in the foundation of your recruiting journey. Believe that your effort is leading somewhere.

At Recruited to Play™, we know that staying the course is hard, especially when the results aren’t immediate. But remember, success in recruiting comes from preparation, persistence, and perspective.

How Parents Can Help

Parents, this is where you play a crucial role. Encourage your athlete to stay disciplined, focused, and hopeful. Remind them that the journey may be long, but with the right strategy, opportunities will come. And most importantly, guide them toward resources that will help them maximize every chance to be seen.

The Next Step

At Recruited to Play™, we believe no athlete should lose their chance because of a lack of guidance. Our step-by-step roadmap walks families through highlight videos, target lists, email templates, NCAA rules, and more. We also offer the free Recruiting Readiness Tool to help you instantly see where your athlete stands today.

If your child isn’t getting recruited yet, it doesn’t mean the door is closed. It means it’s time to refine your approach and stick with it. Stay hopeful. Stay strategic. The opportunities are out there, and your athlete can seize them.

👉 Start your journey today at www.recruitedtoplay.com/store

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